Zorban, Scourge of the Galaxy!

[riley]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH

Name: Flower D. Raggsworth; Zorban, Scourge of the Galaxy! (Exclamation point required)

Nickname(s): Zorban, Zorb

Sex: Male

Age: 37

Race: Noctra

Appearance: Zorban’s massive girth is his main feature. He’s wider than he is tall, owing to his love of all things edible, and perhaps to all things inedible, for whenever he is short of food he will eat anything he can get his paw on. His snout is long and blunt like most Noctra’s; his nose curves upwards at the tip, giving him a mean, hungry look. Long, stiff whiskers surround his nose, which itself is round and black. His long front incisors, along with the rest of his teeth, have yellowed and rotted from lack of dental care (he kills with his breath). Zorban’s fur is thick, matted, and covered in fleas – can you tell he’s not a fan of hygiene? The fur itself is a ruddy red color, or “the color of my enemy’s livers”, as Zorban prefers to call it. His tail, along with his left paw and left leg, are bereft of fur, and are an ugly tan color. His right arm, leg, and eye have been replaced with cheaply made mechanized parts. His arm is even fit with a silver hook that rotates in addition to him turning his arm. He wears a large, dark blue coat, overlarge khaki pants, huge boots, and a pirate hat. When he is feeling especially wicked he will go without the pants and boots.

Personality: Zorban is, to put it bluntly, a pirate. He’d much rather swindle and steal than play fair to get what he wants. There was a time when he had honor; a time when he cared for others. That time, however, is long forgotten. He is concerned now only for himself and the rare few pirate crew members he recruits; but even they are dispensable, especially if he is to gain from their loss. Unlike many nefarious criminals, Zorban is in no way unintelligent. In fact, he is astoundingly smart, and capable of creating dastardly plans and schemes. Zorban views all who oppose him with supercilious contempt, increasingly so if they openly voice their views of him. He becomes markedly enraged when he sets eye upon any male Noctra, and will set upon aforementioned unlucky fellow with vicious verbal taunts. Beneath his jagged exterior, Zorban is a coward. He is most afraid of being worthless; a joke; a digression on the name of all pirates. He fears this because the sole reason he became a pirate was to be worth something. If he loses that, what does he have left to live for?

History: Flower's first few moments were a tragedy -- for him, at least. He was born fifteenth in a litter of fifteen, the final child of his parent's final litter. It is a tradition in his family for the mother to name each child as they are born with the first name she thinks of. This tradition is ridiculous to him, for it seems there would be innumerable of his kin running around with names like Wet, Pink, and Ugly. Most of his siblings, however, were given decent enough names (though Eggplant and Splendiferous... not so much). As Flower’s siblings popped into the world (so to speak – let’s not get into too much detail), their mother named them each in turn: Percival, Adonis, Rick, Ganon, Naruto, Ratchet, Jaxon, George IV, Pikachu Cullen, Gaw, Krasnoo, Leeroy Jenkins, Barney, Ursaking... his mother grew weary. An entire litter of boys? This last child must be a girl! And so Flower came into the world, and he was so tiny and innocent that his mother thought he was indeed female, and so she named him Flower.

Flower was raised with much spite in his heart. Many of his siblings, goaded by Adonis, the most handsome and promising of the litter, teased him endlessly for his name and short stature. Even at school he could not escape the bullying, for Adonis had a crew of loyal Kylians who joined him in his jibes, thinking it to be quite fun. For the most part, Flower ignored them. He refused to fight back; he would not give his brother the satisfaction of knowing his barbed words affected him. Instead, he took a passive-aggressive approach to the problem. He simply strove to be better than Adonis in every way he could.

He worked his hardest at everything. Flower always gave better than his best, one-hundred-ten percent. There was no giving up or giving in, there couldn't be, he had to be the best. It was the only way he believed he was worth something. However, one can only give it their all for so long, for after a while, one begins to wear out. Flower, however, was young and strong. He was not worried about tiring himself. He might've eventually slowed his pace, had living his life the fast lane not slowed it for him.

HEY LOOK AT ME I'M A DETAILED PARAGRAPH CONCERNING FLOWER'S ACCIDENT

Had the nurse assigned to his room not been in such a humorous mood, Flower's life would not have taken such a sharp twist. The entire right half of his face was covered in bandages, hiding the horrible shreds of his ear and gaping, empty eye socket. It reminded her of something from a primitive human book her father had read her once. It was about pi-rats, wasn't it? Yes, that sounded right. The fact he was a Noctra made it all the more hilarious. She bestowed upon him a strange looking hat, embroidered with gold and marked with skull and crossbones. She also put a grisly eye patch over his empty socket. When Flower recovered enough to ask her about these things, she got him a copy of the book that had inspired his outfit: Pirates! Scourge of the Galaxy!

It was a perfect solution. Pirates were not driven by rules; they ruled themselves. No one dared belittle a pirate, and any who did wouldn't live long to tell of it. What could Adonis possibly have on him when he was a pirate captain, feared by space merchants across the cosmos? He would be Flower, scourge of the galaxy! But, no, no, what kind of name was Flower for a deadly thief? He needed something fiercer, something that would make Kylians shudder just to hear.

And so it was that Flower, innocent, victimized Noctra, became Zorban, Scourge of the Galaxy!


Other Notes: Zorban has over nine thousand immediate family members, at least 100 of which are siblings.


Racial Abilities:

• Economics 101: Receive a 25% discount on items bought in a store. Recieve a 100% discount on items stolen from a store.
  
• Reduce, Reuse, Recycle: Items that are normally "consumed" upon use can be used twice as many times.
  

[Ibur]

ACCEPTED OR GTFO